The actor described the experience as “the kind of nightmare that can sort of stain your memory.”

Billy Crudup had ‘full-blown panic attack’ onstage after forgetting lines: ‘Absolutely mortified’

The actor described the experience as "the kind of nightmare that can sort of stain your memory."

By Emlyn Travis

Emlyn Travis is a news writer at **. She has been working at EW since 2022. Her work has previously appeared on MTV News, Teen Vogue, and *NME*.

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December 24, 2025 6:00 p.m. ET

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Billy Crudup attends the 76th Primetime Emmy Awards on Sept. 15, 2024. Credit:

Frazer Harrison/Getty

Billy Crudup is still haunted by the time that he forgot his lines while standing onstage with no one around to help him. **

The Tony Award-winning actor, 57, recalled having a “full-blown panic attack” in front of a theater audience after he completely blanked on a large chunk of his lines during a one-man performance of David Cale’s play, *Harry Clarke*. **

“What made me think I could do it? I have no idea,” Crudup said on a recent episode of the podcast *Off Camera With Kelly Ripa*. **

The *Almost Famous* star admitted that he was surprised by the length of Cale’s script when he first read it — so much so that he nearly didn’t take on the project at all.

Billy Crudup during the Broadway opening night curtain call for 'Arcadia' at the Barrymore Theatre in New York City.

Walter McBride/Corbis via Getty

“Who is going to try to memorize a 48-page monologue? This is an idiotic idea. So I was like, ‘No, I'm definitely not gonna do that,’” Crudup said. “And then I wake up that night and — it must be because I have two brothers — I feel pretty competitive. And I thought, ‘What, you can't do this? You can't get off your ass and do something like this? Somebody thinks you can do it. You should get off your ass and do it.’” **

However, he admitted that there was one evening during the first week of performances that things quickly went off the rails.

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“And about three minutes in, I can't remember my lines,” Crudup said. “I started to have a full-blown panic attack. I get tunnel vision. My heart's going outta my chest. I can't breathe. And I call for line — and I have never called for line before, so we didn't have any systems set in place — and so the poor stage manager from the booth [makes muffled noises].”

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It was then Crudup realized he was entirely “on my own” and had to figure out a way to get himself back on track.  **

“That show came in at about 55 minutes because I dropped about 20 pages. Nobody understood s---,” he said. “And so afterwards the director [Leigh Silverman] comes up and hugs me and I'm just, like, absolutely mortified. I feel terrible for the playwright. I feel terrible for the theater. All the people that were there." **

*Harry Clarke* follows a shy Midwestern man who poses as a charming Londoner named Harry Clarke after moving to New York City. The celebrated Off Broadway production was first held at the Vineyard Theatre in 2017 before making the move to the Minetta Lane Theatre in 2018.

Crudup explained that he was telling the story years later to a group of his wife Naomi Watts’ friends over brunch when he noticed that one of them, a director named Gabby, had fallen silent. **

“Naomi said, ‘Gabby, Billy thinks that… I'm sure nobody even saw.’ And she goes, ‘I was there,’” he recalled. “And she goes, ‘The worst theatrical experience of my life.’ And I was like, ‘Gabby, what about *for me*?!’”**

Crudup described the entire onstage experience as “the kind of nightmare that can sort of stain your memory” if you don’t fight against it. “You have to really apply force and technique to overcome the anxiety of that kind of experience. But once you do, you feel a certain kind of…” he began, with host Kelly Ripa concluding, “It lets you know what you’re made of.”**

She continued, “Because that’s the worst thing that can happen, besides, like, dying. That’s the worst thing. It happened. And you’re still here.” **

Listen to Crudup discuss the moment in the clip above.

Original Article on Source

Source: “EW Theater”